Purpose = Happiness
The paradox of happiness tells us that to achieve the happiness we each deeply desire we must at the same time be both selfish (focusing on gaining fulfilment) and selfless (focus on giving to others). As with any paradox however, this creates tension. And with tension, comes discomfort. But unlike many other times when we experience discomfort in our lives, this is not one where we should seek to resolve it as quickly as we can by choosing one side over the other. Instead, we must learn to use the paradox and the tension it creates.
Using the Paradox = Learning to Serve!
To use the paradox of happiness it’s critical to realise that the tension it creates is what gives us life – it brings an energy and focus to our existence, which helps us achieve all we desire. However, to use the paradox of happiness we must be simultaneously selfish and selfless, but at a deeper level than we have ever considered. And to do this, we must:
Learn to Serve!
Learning to serve means learning to transcend the self-grasping aspects of our own ego and instead reach a deeper level of existence by focusing on the fundamental human needs that each of us have. That is, at the very core of who we are has humans, we each desire to fulfil our potential – to be all we truly can be as humans. And this includes loving and being loved, as connected and flowing parts to the universe. However, often our deeper fundamental human needs are buried under the fears and insecurities perpetuated by our ego.
Our ego is the protective mask we wear each day that holds us in a place of fear and discontent. Our ego is driven by what we perceive society wants us to do, rather than who we truly can be as individual humans. It’s formed from our early childhood out of insecurity, fear and anxiety, and therefore it is a survival mechanism, not a fulfilment mechanism.
Our ego does not seek to serve our deeper human needs, it only seeks to serve itself by perpetuating the pattern of negativity. By living solely through our ego we are therefore trapped in a place where we become a slave to our fears and lower order needs for safety and survival. Our ego buries our deeper human needs.
To transcend our ego and reduce it’s power over us, we must learn to connect with our deeper human needs and become a servant to our selves and to others.
Becoming a Servant
The noblest act we can perform is to serve another in helping them fulfil their full human potential – to help them be all they can be. And it is through this noble act that we serve ourselves by becoming who we truly can be.
To become a servant requires us to first suspend any judgement we may hold about ourselves or others. Driven by our ego, we are all quick to judge. Learning to suspend this judgement, helps us see ourselves and others as real human beings with the same fundamental deep needs that we all wish to have fulfilled.
With our judgement suspended we can then begin to understand and respond to our and others deepest human needs. This means learning to immerse yourself in the worlds of others. This allows you to understand who they are as humans and how they are seeking to fulfil the same needs as you. Once you understand this, you will begin to realise that all humans deepest needs are the same, it is just how we seek to fulfil them that changes. With this knowledge you can then respond more consciously by seeking to fulfil the needs that you and others have.
By immersing ourselves in the worlds of others we begin to see ourselves in a different way. We recognise that our and others’ deepest human needs are the same, and hence we let go of some of the insecurities and fears that we have by becoming a servant to those deeper needs.
You serve others, and in doing so, serve yourself.
Through Service comes Happiness
The paradox of happiness tells us that to be selfish we must be selfish. To use this paradox and the life giving tension it provides, we must recognise that at the heart of who each of us are as human beings, we have the same needs; we each need to love and be loved, and we each need to fulfil our human potential. Failing to do this will result in us continuing to live a life to others preconceptions, while also remaining in a state of fear and insecurity. Recognising this, and learning to suspend the judgement created by fear from our ego, we can begin to understand and respond to the deepest needs that each of us as humans have.
To achieve the happiness therefore requires us to become servants to the deepest and purest human needs of love, compassion and fulfilling our potential…
As it is through Service comes Happiness!