Tag Archives: Meditation

Artificial Fragmentation: Transcend to become Whole

Forced Fragmentation

With the pace of modern day life we all struggle to keep in flow. That is, we feel overwhelmed by the sheer volume of ‘things’ that bombard us in any moment. We struggle to keep our heads above the surface of the metaphorical flood of information, tasks and preconceptions that gush in around us.

To deal with this, we over-rely on on a single approach that we each have been taught by others who’ve also suffered through the same struggle before us; like cutting a picture into a pieces of a puzzle, we divide the components of our existence, artificially forcing the fragmentation of how we define our lives.

In taking this approach, searching for a way to stem the tide, we paradoxically reinforce the situation that got us there in the first place. As we divide and force fragmentation, much like cutting the pieces of the puzzle into even more pieces, we create even more ‘things’ for us to deal with in any moment. Furthermore, in a bid to manage and understand this greater list of ‘things’, we establish false dichotomies that reinforce the fragmentation – for example; Work and Life, Personal and Professional, etc. Then, with a seemingly even great number of individual ‘things’ to focus on, the feeling of drowning becomes stronger and stronger.

Our Desire for Wholeness 

Despite our well practice and deeply engrained pattern of behaviour of fragmenting our lives, deep within each of us as humans is the desire for wholeness – our desire to exist in a state of unbroken flow.

As individual humans, it is true that part of our time in any day consists of work and non-work (what people often refer to as ‘life’ in the work-life balance dichotomy).  However, what we often fail to realise is that despite these perceived fragments, what is common to each of us is ‘us’ – our purest human existence. Recognising this common factor in everyone of our fragments means that we can each forget those fragments and focus on what is common – us! With this focus – being conscious of the commonness of ourselves across each fragment – we can therefore stop worrying about ‘managing’ the fragments, and instead focus just on living as who we are and who we want to be.

Create, then Multiply to Transcend 

To achieve ‘wholeness’, or to become ‘whole’, requires practice. But this is not the usual practice that we are each taught – i.e. stop doing the bad things and do more of the good things. This practice is one of paradoxical intention. Because our desire to fragment our lives is so deeply engrained in our behaviour, we should not try to fight it. Instead we should continue the process. In fact, we should not only continue the process, but we should intensify it by multiplying our efforts and create even more fragments of fragments of fragments.

By creating fragments and then multiplying them further and further, we are able to consciously or semi-consciously approach an infinite number. That is, we are able to transcend our existing clutter of fragments by overwhelming ourselves to  the extent that all our fragments blend into one; one whole that is bound by the commonality of us!

You can become Whole

To overcome the artificial fragmentation that so heavily plagues our modern lives and prevents us from living in a state of flow, we should first focus on the commonality across all our fragments; we must recognise that despite the divisions we create in the definitions of our lives, we as individuals are the common factors across every aspect of our existence. Then, as we become comfortable with the commonality of our existence, we should avoid fighting the desire to fragment, and instead continue creating and multiplying our fragments to the point of of infinity, or wholeness!

The Paradox of Happiness – Part 1

It’s Unanimous – it comes from within!

At the recent Flow, with Purpose, as Yourself ™ events that we’ve been running in London, the concept of Happiness always prompts some great conversation. It seems that people unanimously agree that happiness, in its purest form (i.e. Unconditional Happiness), comes from within. That is, happiness does not rely on attachment to material things or even to people and the relationships we have. Instead, it comes from living in a state of inner contentment and peace of mind – a state where free ourselves from the concerns that plague us and we live fully confortable in our own skin, enjoying and immersed in the present moment.

I’m pleased to say that in each of the conversations that were had at the events, everyone agreed that this is a state that we can all achieve this, although only if we have the desire and focus to do so.

A Paradox – Happiness versus Purpose?

However – and here’s the paradox – despite everyone agreeing that Unconditional Happiness comes from within, we also all agreed that it cannot in itself be a goal that we pursue. That is, Unconditional Happiness is not achieved by focusing solely on it. If we focus solely on achieving happiness it becomes an illusive destination rather than a way of experiencing the moments along the journey of our life.

But, this raises a question:

If Unconditional Happiness is not a goal, how do we achieve the state of inner contentment and peace of mind we desire?

Victor Frankl I believe provides the answer to this; you do not pursue happiness, instead you ensue Unconditional Happiness through focusing on your purpose. And, your purpose involves giving to others – making a positive contribution to the world. In this respect, the best way to ‘achieve’ Unconditional Happiness is paradoxically to forget about it…and focus on giving to others.

Recognising the Paradox – Purpose = Happiness

Any paradox – two conflicting truths – creates tension. In modern society however, we see tension as uncomfortable and therefore negative. Furthermore, we are taught to resolve the tension as quickly as possible to help us return to a comfortable state. This is why we’ve created a quick fix culture where, for example, we ‘pop pills’ at the slightest ailment hoping to ‘fix’ it as quickly as possible. At one level, this ‘quick fix’ culture could be seen as useful, but when applied as a blanket philosophy across our lives it removes some of the life giving tension that we as humans so desperately need.

To use the paradox of happiness – i.e. that to ‘achieve’ happiness, we must forget about it and focus on our purpose – we must learn to hold the two conflicting truths in a state of tension. That is, imagine you are holding your hands in front of you with palms facing the sky. In your left hand is your desire to achieve the state of Unconditional Happiness – inner contentment and peace of mind – which you know, can only come from within. In your right hand is your need to focus on your purpose, which is all about giving to others. As you look at and feel both your hands you can sense the tension between them; to achieve what I desperately need for me in my left hand, I must give to others in my right hand!

When we become aware of a paradox it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by it, hence wanting to ease the tension that’s created. In respect to the paradox of happiness, this would represent dropping one of your hands to focus only on the other – i.e. I either focus solely on me and my happiness, or I focus solely on others and their happiness. However, rather than doing this, to get the most out of the paradox and therefore to achieve Unconditional Happiness through focusing on fulfilling your purpose, I would suggest holding your hands in place. It is only through doing this that you feel the weight of both sides of the paradox, and you can begin to explore and appreciate the tension that’s been created. And it is only through doing this, that you can realize that Purpose = Happiness…which means to be selfish (i.e. to achieve our desired happiness) we must be selfless (i.e. giving to others).

Coming soon…

Paradox of Happiness Part 2 – Focusing on Purpose